Have you ever felt like you weren’t getting support from your partner in your battle with PCOS?
You’re not alone. It’s something I hear often from the women I work with.
You absolutely deserve to be supported, and if you’re going to overcome your struggles, you need it.
But…here’s the thing about support.
If you go up to your partner and you say, “Support me! Why aren’t you supporting me? Why aren’t you helping me?” You’re going to get a positive response about 0% of the time.
That’s not the way to get what you need. Instead, you need to motivate your partner to help you.
The thing to keep in mind is anytime you make a change in your life, it affects the people in your life.
If you start going to bed earlier, that affects your time with your partner or your family.
If you start eating healthier and you get rid of all the junk food, everybody in the house has to adjust.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it! Just that you need to be aware of the effect it has on your loved ones.
We have basic emotional needs, including feeling loved, feeling significant, feeling certain and secure, and feeling like we have variety in our lives. Our actions are often linked to trying to get one of those needs met.
When you take something away from your partner, you aren’t just taking away that thing, you’re taking away the way they meet their needs.
If junk food helps your partner feel secure, you can’t just take it away. You have to replace it with something else that will give your partner that same need.
If your partner feels loved when you watch TV with them, and you decide you don’t want to watch TV anymore, you can’t just sit there and stare at the wall with them. They’re not going to feel loved that way.
So if the way you approach a healthy change for you is to tell your partner, “I need you to support me, but I’m taking your basic needs away from you,” it’s not going to go over very well.
Food gives us a lot of those needs. We feel emotional connections to food. Food can give us variety. The routine of when we eat gives us certainty. You can’t just completely change everything they associate with their food.
You can’t just pull the rug out from under your partner and expect them to be on board.
So what can you do instead?
Find ways to replace those needs for your partner, and ease them into the change.
Start slow, with small changes. (Add more vegetables, replace a snack here and there with a healthier option.)
Maybe cook a healthy meal together to give some variety and a feeling of love.
If you take away time with your partner to work out, think of different ways you can regain that quality time.
Work with your partner to make sure that they feel safe and secure. Don’t just take away their needs and ask them to support you.
For now, start small, start slow, and think of ways to ease your partner into your healthy changes.
Are you worried that you don’t know where to start? Do you feel like it has to be all or nothing? Are you wondering what to prioritize? Go to FatExtractionMethod.com to get started.
Let’s get you the support you need,
John